mathematical Description of life

 

 

 After so many years o study of mathemaics and life . .   followed  by exhaustive experiments and observations ..

i have come up wid a mathematical description of life . .

 

life is a operator that is aplied to man . .  operator is a fucntion .. which when operated on a number , quantity does the desired operation ..

 

like we can have square operator (SQP) whihc whne aplied will square the quantity

 sqp2 = 4 sqp4 = 16 sqp(x) = x^2  and so on .

and operand is the quantity being operated . .

so in life .. the operator is the life operator nd the operand is man . .

 now we have got the characteristic of life  and also the operand . .  now the problem that was left to me was to find out  what that operator is . .

after a few observations ..  and then plotting these observations on a semi log graph . . i found out that life operaotos is a series . .  infinite series . . 

then it was to find that series ..  so  i used curve plotting for that and the functions which fitted the best was a geometric series ..

that if ife operator is of type ..  Life operator =  x + x^2 + x^3 + x^4 + x^5 . . . . . and so on ..

( x^2 = x*x , x^3 = x*x*x . .  and so on .. )

 

now what i had to find was  wat is that X . .

and that x is .. . . x= fuck U …

this impplies . . 

life = life-operator( MAN )

life = { (fuckU) + (fuckU)^2 + (fuckU)^3 + (fuckU)^4 + (fuckU)^5 . . . . . . .  } (MAN)

 

so as we proceed along this series ..  man is  fucked harder and harder . . .

 . . this reminds me of a very old song   by beatles . .  ( to whihc i have done a lil modification )

 

Fuck fuck me do .. .

u know i ll fuck you .. 

so please please please .. 

 fuck me doooo ..  . OO .. ooooo .. OOO ..

fuck me do .. . 

Ooo ..  OOOo ..

fuck me DO . . .. !!!! ..  lol ..

 

 

 

“thathi vao na lagai , par bharam sharnai”

Tathi vao na lagai , par bharam sharnai

     – meaning ..  those who come into gods  abode are saved by him from all ills and sufferings

 

I was may be in 6th or 7th  at that time when Jaundice hit me ,liver malfunction ..  caused by unhygenic water  etc  . . can be  deadly, high fever , no medicine can be given coz the liver gets week and any medicine can damage it ..  no spicy food . .  no heavy milk products . . the only medicine for this disease is "muli ka juice" , "gane ka juice"  and LIV-52 an ayurvedic medicine ..

        when it stuck me i was in bed for 25 days .. fever as high as 105 , 107 and their was a time when i was on the verge of being  hospitalised as 105 degree fever can be fatal . i remember that day i was lying on the bed mom sitting on the bed crying , papa walking in the room all tense . .  my sis applying cold water cloth on my head and my DADAJI sitting on a chair by my side and hyming "tathi vao na lagai , par bharam sharnai .. jogirdh hamare ram ka , dukh lage na bhai .. "   whihc means something like  i have come to you oh lord ..  so save me and kill all my illnesses and sufferings . 

         My dadaji is not with me anymore but when ever i feel lonely , scolded by my parents , heart fucked , crying   ..  tat day coms to mah mind  and the fact tat my grandpa loved me so much  and how alone im wid out him. How he used t save me from my fathers wrath and how i miss him . 

     A tear just abour to roll down my eyes …  dont know why it stopped in between , but i miss him .. m really sorry for acting the way i did when you were aliv  and thankyou for all ur lov , care , affection , hugs , kisses whchi never deserved whch i no longer get , which i miss like hell ..

    When he was in the hospital .. in his last days ..  i went there and he was not saying anthing .. was very week but the moment he saw me  . he said "dimpy" (my nick name ). .  and held my hand for a few minutes . And when he died , during the bhog and all other ceremonies not a single tear rolled down my eyes .. 

         I cry now coz i miss him , his love and affection which i failed to realize when he was alive ..

 

---

 

 The VEngeance , the scars

 my heart is torn

the hypocritical world

the insensitive love

the longing for death

all the blood that has been shed

& before i take my last breath

MAY GOD FUCK YOU ALL !!!

aIdS AwaRenESS SloGanS(sLow-gUns)

Let HIV be your worst enemy! Fight HIV/AIDS
 
AIDS brings pain! Girls, please abstain
 
 Ladies, be wise! Make them guys condomize
 
Be Aware! Be Prepared! HIV is passing, but don’t be scared!
 
Women, HIV/AIDS is NOT a lottery, take no chances
 
Be beautiful! Be smart! Be stylish! But, protect yourself
from HIV
 
Dont be silly, cover your willy
 
Information is Ammunition
 
If you Test, You’ll get Rest
 
It Could Happen To You
 
Let’s Kill It With Kindness
 
It’s Everyone’s Problem
 
Prevention & Intervention
 
Avoid the Scare…Be Aware
 
Help Us Find A Way to End the Decay
 
Don’t Delay…Get Tested Today
 
End the Pandemic…Help Us Find a Cure
 
End the Dread…Stop the Spread
 
Help Us Find A Way to Take AIDS Away
 
Talk about sex
 
I have been tested. I know.
 
 HIV/AIDS affects all of us
 
 ABC – Abstain, Be faithful or Condomise
 
Together we can
 

IN HINDI
AIDS se na raho anjaan , samna karo seena taan

( used to shout this one during NSS rallies )

My Heart Bleeds But No Tears In My Eyes

 

My Heart Bleeds But No Tears In My Eyes II

 

My Heart Bleeds But No Tears In My Eyes

A four letter word twisted my life

Was left with so many why’s

No one came to wipe my tears

All i got was wet eyes

 

Time runs so fast, its hard to believe

A year passed in her memories

Remember this month last year

I remember the words she said to me

I remember her smile, her beautiful voice

Her soft moans in the night

I remember her jokes, her likes , dislikes

I remember all that she said to me

 

I remember he phone number that i used to dial

Remember her blog address which long ago died .

Remember her email address which never replies

 

I remember her dogs name, her house address

I still remember the college in which she once studied

Remember her dimples and cute smile

Her long hairs and big-big eyes

Her slender figure, tight thighs

I remember every thing..

. . . . . . . . . .  but why ? ?

 

 

I don’t know why I cry

For some one who was never mine

Who took my heart in the winter night

What looked so fine couldn’t be mine

They say love is divine

Intoxicates you like some expensive wine

 

Then why I feel I was better before

Why I asked for something more

Why she came into my life

Why i made her the meaning of my life

 

My heart bleeds but no tears in my eyes

I don’t know the reason why

May be I just love to cry

Or may be I shouldn’t ask why

 

My heart bleeds but no tears in my eyes

Some how I have learned to comply

With situations, with people, with life

With all that I can’t control

With all that is not my

 

The love inside me will never die

My eyes might run dry

But love never dies

Believe me , Love never dies

Love never dies

---

 

My Heart Bleeds But No Tears In My Eyes part one . .  ( old one )

http://mandy-rhtdm.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!3C7B73D0262E9CE9!914.entry

 

 

That was not asked for

"that was not ASKED FOR"

---

 

              The very first day of our trip , it was a train journey from chandigarh to delhi on jan shatabdi express .the reporting time was 9 30 as the train was to depart at 10:30 , but just like always i came late , at 10 20 .when i reached the station i called up KD to ask the bogie number and the platform number .  then i reached the platform there i met him and then boarded the train . . as there were still a few minutes left so i  came back toplatform and said my byes to mummy and papa , my friend amit ( the same one frm the oldy post ) also came to meet me . there i saw a girl wid a man , could be her brother , her friend or boy friend  but i dont give a damn abt him . She boarded the train along with him . . and then he left .

                                          When i got to see her closely . . .  she was so cute , hot , sexy . . she was wearing a blue jeans , a white round neck sweater , and a hair band .. her hairs were very long , so long that they even crossed her bum cheeks .

                  Then the train journey started , i was sitting on the seat near the loo . and we all were playing cards , my friend taught me how to play bhabhie( a card game ) and we started playing bhabhie . . after a few games we started playing Bluff , and we were having lotsa fun  .as we were not having continous seats, and we were abt 20 + boys and 8 gals so all the gals were sitting alone ( along wid three janana boys  ) and rest of the boys  were standing near our seat , we were singing songs and etc . . Then suddenly she got up , she was sitting 4-5 seats away from us .. tat beautiiful lady . . and we all gave way to her and she went to the loo , then after some time she came back  , as about 6-7 of us were standing in the way , so we all moved  i turned my self parallel to the sitting rows and she came and passed , in my one hand was a folder which was containing all the tickets and the undertakings of the students , when she passed i moved my hand so tat iot shouldnot touch her , and when i was moving my hand it hit a chair and so wasnot able to go backl any further and  my hand was holding a file folder , when she passed , by mistake my folder touched her bum cheeks . . and suddenly she turned , and  in a soft voice  which was showing helplesness and disgust she said " THAT WAS NOPT ASKED FOR"  to me , i was standing right in front of her , for abt 3-4 seconds 4-5 seconds i didnt say anything as i was not able to understand what tat meant , then i tht may be she thinks tat i touched her bumcheeks . so i  replied back " what , . . i DIDNT TOUCH YOU "  she turned back and went to sit on her seat

                 I was so much mad . . ‘wtf’ i didnt do any thing and how dare she say  that to me or act like tat i have done some thing wrong in front of everyone . although i accept i was a bit tempted to do something stupid , but i know that i didnt do anything and i have never done any such thing .

           But she got her due , soon after the scene my frnds came towards me and asked " kya bola " i told them the complete thing and every one started laughing .. but the next time she came to go for the loo my frnds took my revenge .. when she passed us every one started saying  " oye side ho jao side , touch mat karna . .  shatabdi express a rahi hai "  and when she came back from loo . . and passed us  KD said " mam what did u ask for " ..

            There was a family sittng next to us , aunty and her fanmily , she turned back and asked us " kaunse college se ho  we all said proudly " PEC " then she said " lagte to nahin " HA HA HA ..

 

                May be what we all said to her after that was wrong, but what she did that was also wrong , i was kinda  crying , as for the first time some one Aacussed me of such a thing and it was fucking bad !!!!

 

Take care . . .

   

---

I am Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You’re often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is – not for how it should be. What Time Of Day Are You?

Senior Citizen

 dated 22.12.06

SENIOR CITIZEN. . .
 . . Today was a good day . . some thing really good hapened wid me . . i met a man who has met ALbert einstien and many other Noble laurates . read on . .

 . . I went to clg at 10 , there was a meeting with the DUGC of our branch as  a student went to the director with aq cutting of a news on Times Of India tat Al Quida is planning a bomb blast in Goa on new year .  ( sheh .. )  and that it is not safe so cancel the trip . .  gals are so damn low on heart .  ek chote se threat se dar gayi . . Men Are strong !!!
but then director ( awesome man ) said  these are normal threats so the trip wont be cancelled , but those who dont want to go now can go next year wid the juniors . . and guess wat now every one is goin .  ha ha ha .
               Then i had to deposit a few reciepts related to Fest , and tell mah frnd at how to do work , as i will be leaving so he will have to get the sanctions and other work done . . then we both went to British Library , he had to renew his card and i for returning a few mags, dvds, books and reissuing a few books ( i cant finish a book in 21 days . . :p ) then we went to sit on a sofa and he started filling the form , their w as a old man siting on a sofa perpendicular to ours he smiled at us . . dont knw why ,  he was old abt 80+ and the strange thing was he looked a lot like my grand pa .. same type of skin , same coloured beard , same wrinkles . .He was wearing a grey turban a greay home made sweater, a black coat a lil dirty , a mufler , a black colored dusty pant and bata shoes .
He was reading  some children’s book and was gigling . . i dont know why but i wanted to talk wid him , wanted to start a conversation wid him , may be it was coz he looked alot like my grandpa .. or dont knw what . . but i wanted to talk wid him ..
              Then my frnd was filling the form and simultaneously we were talking abt the new librarian of british libraray .  she  is so cute .. so very cute brit lib is a lil low on the no. of books nut they do make it up with beautiful librarians ..   thie new gal was so cute and has such a innocent kiddoo face , pink cheeks , a smaal pony tail hairs and her voice is so very soft . . ( m m mm….. ) , THEN suddenly tat old man askd
oldy : ur filling the member ship form ?
mandy & amit : yes the the renewel form .
oldy : every year these people increase the fee , nowit is 900 i think
mandy : ( correcting oldy  )  no sir its 1050 now ,
amit :  ( correcting mandy ) its 1050 for thr classic card , but the individual card is cheaper
oldy : what do u do ?
mandy : i m doing engg. from punjab engg. college
oldy : yeah i used to go to that college these ppl used to have their activities , but from few years it has stopped.
mandy : we are gonna have our pecfest next year in fenbruary
oldy : pardon me what ?
mandy : pec fest .. College FEST ..
oldy : fest . .ohh  … wen is it ?
mandy : its on 9, 10 , 11 feb
oldy : 9, 10 … i will try to remember gigles wid himself
mandy : what do u do sir ?
oldy : ( giggling ) i do a lot of funny things  . . basically i was a professor and have been to many countries of world and have taaught in usa , germany , japan  etc etc . .
mandy : wat do u teach ?
oldy :  i teach philosphy . .  ( then he started telling his whole life story .. read on . )

           It was the world war II time , i wanted to do my Phd but the books to do Phd were to be brough from abroad , and they told me that as wordl war is gooing on so i will have to wait till the world war gets over to get the books , so for the time i started going to the library at kalkata , at that time it was the biggest library of india . There i read a book by a americam author and i publisher many papers , i wrote a letter to him saying that i have read ur book and liked it , may be we can meet some day . His reply came " why meet some day , come now , im waiting for you " . Then i went to America ,at that time the air fare was very cheap it was just 900 Rs . There i was greated in a very nice way , i met him and talked wid him abt the book . Then i saw a bookshop and saw the name of a lady author she was a big author , so i went to meet her , she asked me why i have come to america , i lied to her and said that "america is the most powerful country and i want to do studt it" she said " then u have come to the wrong country " . At that time their were two strong countries , USA and Soviet Union , she said that america is not having the culture , heritage and is very poor in that area.
                           ( Then that oldy told me that the india vedas or some old book like that is read by foregners all around the world and at that time  its only translation was available in german language so a a person whome tat oldy knows wabted to study that book first went to germany to learn german language and then read that book .)
oldy : ( continued. .  ) She said that their are two countries who will decide the fate of world in the future and will be a super power  i asked which two countries she said INDIA and CHINA ,  these people have great respect for indian culture ..
               
                      Then i went to germany, after the world war . I met manyt people there . Germanyw as destroyed , homes and temples of jews were destroyed . But jews were given compensation . there i got a job in a university in berlin . I was intrested in studying german history and the rise of hitler in germany . I went in the university to teach german history but they said that they dont have any one to teach asian history so you teach abt aisa , the subject i knew i didnt teach and what i taught was what i didnt knew .I even met many nazi’s and also met the secratary of hitler , he told me that they faught the war to make the world a better place for the good of the human kind .After that even write a book on rise of nazism in germany  , the german embassy liked that book and it was published .
                Then i got a job offer from Usa i stayed their for a long time , their a very funny thing happened , i dont know how but a gal fell in love with me , she was my student she used to follow me after the classes sit with me in the cafeteria . and then we got married
mandy : how old were u sir wen u got married ?
oldy : lets see i was born in 1921 so was above 40
mandy : and how old was she ?
oldy : (laughing) well i joke ant it some times , went to usa in  june 1947 , and she was born in march 1947 , so i was not knowing that a 3 months old gal will fall in love with me .
mandy : interesting life you have .
oldy : yeah . . .  very intresting ………… Our son was born in Usa . Thne me and my wife came back to india , rite now she is working in hindustan times newspaper , and my son is in america , and he tells me that i did rite  by sending him to america , he got to earn himself and learnt the truth of life , then he also fell in love wid a gal wen he was in school and then his wife and he told me and the gals parents that they wont marry at all if they are not married to themselves so we had to marry them , now he is  in USA ,

                            Then i met many people around the world , and many noble laurates , i even met Albert einstien , wen i met him i asked him wat is the meaning of LIFE .. Einstien said " life has no meaning its for us to give it a meaning .. we have to find our life’s meaning .." then i asked what is the meaning of your life  he said " my life’s meaning is to study natures laws"  i asked " how well have u stuidied nature’s laws ? " enstien said "  little.. very little " then i said " that means ur life has been a failure . ." he said " no its not failure . . sucess of life doesnt depends on the achievement of goals , it depends on how hard u work to achieve them , i have given my whole life for studying the laws of nature so my life has been a sucess , the effort you put in thats what matters , i have worked hard and so my life is a sucess "
 
         ( Then he told abt gandhi and compared him wid einstien )
       Gandhi died in 1948 , he was killed but before dieng he issued a statement that " after my death people wont believe that some one like gandhi ever lived in this world " u know why
mandy : noded is head in a NO
oldy : coz he never hated any one , ne didnt even hate the britishers , he never hated any one , but einstien he left germany during the world war II , he was a jew and jews were killed so he came to USA , but after world war was over he was aksed to come back to germany , as jews were given compensation and all , he didnt come back to germany , coz he hated germany .

  ( co-incedentaly i was also reading a book related to the world war two, its MAN’S SEARCH FOR A MEANING , it was related to life’s meaning and is abt the stay of a psychaitrist in concentration camp he lived in concentration camp for three years and survived )

mandy : this book is also related to world war II , its written by a man who survived the concentration camp
oldy : ( seeing the book and reading the front pages ) hmm .. i have never read this.
mandy : its very old it was first written in 1949
oldy : ( correcting mandy ) yeah its old it was written in 1946 first in german ( reading all that from the first page of teh book whihc has copy rigts notice and all
oldy : i will also like to read it after you finish it
         ( then he kept the bookk down , mah friend also over with his card , got the card renewed , and laminated and was standing )

mandy : (shaking hand wid oldy) It was nice meeting you sir
oldy :  (said some thing which mandy wasnot able to understand

    He was an amazing person . .  mandy lucky to have met some one like him , and it also felt like that he also wanted to talk wid some one .. and he tols all about himself without even me asking him anything . . it was a great experience .
mandy hopes to meet him again . i wanted to aks him to write hi life’s story . . but didnt .

---

Me going to GOA tomm . .

GO GOAAAAAAAA ……….  !! ,  will be back on 3rd jan evening .
so wish you all a merry christmas , and a very very very HAPPY new year , may god bless you all and give u sucess , happiness and joy and all that u wish for . . .

Wishes. .

. . . .manD  !!

virtual reality

The Virtual world . . 
 

 The internet world . .  the virtual world .  its like a virtual life , a virtual brotherhood , a virtual family  everything virtual .
u dnt knw who is on the other end , u have to blv what he/she says . . its more like u help me pass my time and i will help u pass your time .
 . .  You portray urself to  others the way u want , they also do the same . but its meant to be just a time pass. we cant talk to the person sitting next to us in the class room . but we love talking to some one who is several miles away from us ..  why ?
 .. coz u knw wateva u cant dare say to some one on the face u can say it to the person on blog . chat etc.
 isnt it a looser kinda thing ..  ur lonely so u go chat , blog .
   people wid whome u talk  consider u a robot , you are meant to talk wid them wen they want and they are meant to talk wid u wen u want and wen either one doesnt wants to talk . . ITS OVER .?
 human relations can be developed thru meeting people only . in the virtual world u can only fool urself wid the virtual reality , that u do mean some thing to some one living thousands miles away from u . but the fact is wen ur use for that person is over ur thrown out from his/her friend list blocked or wateva , and u also do the same to others . . ….. ..
  
why do we all come to talk overthe net ?
WHY WE BLOG ?
WHY WE CHAT ??
   ANSWERS . . . ?